Man, I Really Hate LinkedIn

Why I Can't Stand This Site

Pictured - How I would react at work if I worked in the triangle factory and a circle appeared on Monday vs Friday

It started as a tip…

“You need to make a LinkedIn account,” said Pishoy Zaki, my former suitemate from freshman year.

I have not talked to Zaki much since he moved out of Belmont and back home because it was cheaper, but last time I saw him he was driving a Lambourgini around campus.

We made eye contact at a crosswalk, he smiled and then drove off while his engine roared.

I’m not exactly sure how he made his money, or do I actually care, but what I do know is LinkedIn did not make him that money.

But freshman year Seth Thorpe - with wide eyes and hopes of entering the Music Business scene - thought this was his ticket to success.

Maybe it could have been, but ever since then I’ve viewed it as a cesspool of FOMO, career dysmorphia and the worst that corporate culture has to offer to society.

Let me explain…

“I’m proud to announce…”

Every time I read those words, I feel as if I get a gut punch of regret and disappointment in myself for not being the one who can make that post.

One of the biggest critiques of social media in general is that it’s mainly a collection of people’s highest highs and none of the lows. Everyone’s smile is on point, they look happy and they look like their best selves, but it’s looked down upon because it’s not authentic.

So why do we give a pass to LinkedIn?

I say that LinkedIn is worse because when you’re someone who’s not “achieving” on a daily basis and you see someone else constantly posting, it can feel like you’re falling behind in a race you never knew you were apart of.

I’m guilty of making these posts, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. This article itself is going to be a post, and I’m going to post about my other jobs at Belmont and around the city because it’s just what’s expected of you.

I’m also guilty of seething with jealousy when I see someone accomplish something, then that jealousy becomes sadness when I ask myself “what have I accomplished lately?”

In theory, it should be a fun place to announce the occasional job and career updates, but when it’s about every small moment of a career or certifications being earned, it becomes obnoxious and overbearing.

I understand, posting to LinkedIn is many people’s jobs, but for those that are not tasked with that responsibility, why do you post so much?

But I think that leads me to the question I’m really asking - why do I care?

Career Dysmorphia - The LinkedIn Disease

Career dysmorphia is not a real term (as of now) but it’s what I call it when you feel like you’re falling behind or you are not accomplishing anything because you see others doing so but that perspective is a lie.

It goes back to my previous point of other people’s highs being the average post rather than the mundane, but on LinkedIn, they even turn the mundane into something extraordinary.

Why do I feel shame for not posting about my work day at a coffee shop and calling it a “Field Note?”

Why do I feel shame for not getting a certification in some obscure program I don’t care about, but because I see it, I wish I had it now.

Why do I think I’m a failure, even though others would look at me and think I’m doing just fine?

And that’s where the dysmorphia comes in, because it’s all a lie.

None of these narratives are real or as strong as they seem to be, it’s a lie I tell myself to make myself feel worse.

The truth is, most people are leading normal careers like the rest of us, and some just happen to post about it more often than others.

But that can still create a strong disconnect from what we know vs what we feel, and I feel that disconnect hurting me.

Honestly, I feel worse when I look at LinkedIn than I did looking at the racist-landfill called X, formerly known as Twitter, because at least were funny things on X in between of the abhorrent and disgusting posts that drove me away from the site.

LinkedIn isn’t a truly terrible site, yet, but its presence currently is just terrible to be around because it’s so lame.

And I think that leads me to my final point: the website itself is inherently cringy and painfully unfunny.

LinkedIn Wrapped and Corporate Cringe

At the end of the year, a prominent admin at Belmont University and bank founder in Nashville named Harry Allen posted his “LinkedIn Wrapped” to show what his interaction stats and other notable accomplishments on the site were in the last year.

Now, this has nothing to do with Allen, who is very successful in his own right and it makes sense why he uses the site, but this is more about the concept of “LinkedIn Wrapped” itself that bothers me.

It’s already getting tiresome that so many companies and sites are making their own “wrapped” when it’s not needed, but it’s especially confusing that LinkedIn needs its own because who is using it that much?

The answer is obviously hundreds of thousands of people every day, but that then leads me to my next thought - who are the type of people to engage in this content?

We all know.

I didn’t need to ask the question. We all know it’s middle-aged corporate working Americans who equate their career with their self-worth.

We all know it’s college aged students attempting to get a leg up in their career because they see how bleak and hopeless life looks for 90% of people graduating with them, and they cannot stand the idea of falling behind.

We all know it’s meant for people who don’t think its cringe to turn their personality into another vessel purely meant to drive the growth of their career.

And that’s what makes it worse, because we all know who this is for, yet many of us still participate because its “what we’re supposed to do.”

The standard is the standard, even if it sucks, but what are we supposed to do to change it?

In my case, make a long post on Substack about it, but that opens the biggest question for myself - why do I even use it?

Why do I use it?

Honestly, I have been wondering that myself for the longest now.

If the site sucks, and I don’t like it, then why do I use it?

Why am I making such a long and drawn out post that I’m posting to the exact website I despise?

To be honest, it’s because I really want to like it.

There’s a part of me that yearns to be the person that posts every day and proving that I am accomplishing something worth of note.

But that’s the devil in the detail - I’m treating the site as validation for my existence.

I’m treating it as another tool to tell myself that I am good enough, and if I’m not using (or watching others use it better) then I am not good enough.

To me, this feels like a dystopian nightmare akin to dating apps or the actual job market (one that LinkedIn perpetuates, but that’s another topic for another day) because why do we have to justify our existence with our careers?

The other day, I was sitting in the classroom of my dorm and painting a banner. It’s a banner for my dorm hall that will be presented and hopefully we will win because it looks nice.

The most important thing is that while I was painting it, I felt at peace with my reality.

I didn’t think about the past and what I could have done better, or think about the future and what I should be doing next, I was just painting.

The strokes of the brush on the canvas while outlining a dragon that’s grilling hotdogs brought me a level of serenity I have not felt in a while.

Later that evening, I was checking my phone to look for any last minute messages on all the social media sites, and I landed on LinkedIn.

There were no messages (besides AI recruiters for universities) but there were people posting their accomplishments, and all the anxious thoughts about the past and future came sprinting back to me.

It probably is just a me problem, but I know that this affects other people too.

There’s countless Youtube videos about LinkedIn being cringe and terrible to use, and I know that if just as many people hate corporate cringe as they say they do, then I know there will be a few who resonate with this essay.

If you are that person, leave a comment and share with someone who you think might relate.

If you’re not, then by all means don’t let me burst your bubble, because at the end of the day, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.